The worst thing anyone could say to me is that I'm a disappointment. I try to live up to everyone's expectations of me and even thought I know it's not important, I still care. And the worst thing is, I think I've made the right decision and yet, they're still showing their disappointment in me. It makes me doubt whether I'll ever get their trust again. And it makes me so frustrated because there's nothing I can do about it.
It's not like I've done anything wrong so why are you disappointed in me? It's a process of growing up and everyone gives up things. Why is it wrong to give it up for now? Can't you just trust me that I've made the right decision for me for the time being? I love that thing and I will go back to doing it when I'm ready. I'm already disapppointed with myself for giving it up. Next time, please don't pretend to support me just to tell me after a while that my decision was a big disappointment to you.
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"What if I've actually walked past or bumped into someone that's a big part of my life now before?" I'm not sure if you get what this question is but whatever, it's something that's always made me so mentally itchy.
It's so amazing how random people from random places become friends. Like I've never thought that I would move to Hong Kong. That's the thing that's got me asking that question. On my somewhat regular visits to Hong Kong through the years, had I walked past my "future" best friends or teachers. I JUST LOVE IT!!! I have no idea why. Well I guess it's because I know I can't really see the grand scheme of my life. Like I know my purpose in life but I mean those little details that make me who I am and who I will be (personality wise). I've always made friends quite easily. But throughout my time in Hong Kong, I've made friends that stick like family. And I seriously love my school. Like not the workload and stuff. But just the whole atmosphere is so filled with love for each other and I think that this was only possible through God. I really really really love people and I'm so happy God created us. And I absolutely love the fact that we were made with the ability to love. Loving the people around me is literally the thing that makes me so happy. Simply love. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. - 1 John 4:7 |
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"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." - Psalm 143:8 Archives
April 2020
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